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I've been perking along pretty well on The Amateurs on the whole, although I've been fighting a lack of initiative for the last couple of weeks. It's easy -- or at least not hard -- to generate first-draft composition fairly regularly when I'm the only one who has to see it: I don't have to second-guess it, or polish it, or basically please anyone but myself. I can read it knowing exactly what I mean.
But now I've agreed to workshop some of it with my friend Danielle and ever since then I've been reading it as if someone else was reading it. And now I hate it. All of it. A lot. I've cut some things and put in some other things, and generally made it smoother and more readable. I still hate it. And I haven't even given it to Danielle yet.
I knew people were going to have to read it eventually, or what's the point, right? But until a couple of weeks ago, I had expected to be able to finish it, ignore it for a couple of months and then use my superpowers to turn it from a bundle of semiconnected scenes into a single, coherent piece of work.
I have to say, and I don't think I'm alone in this: when it comes to my own stuff I am the most blackhearted critic ever.
Word Count: 27,468 (+393)
But now I've agreed to workshop some of it with my friend Danielle and ever since then I've been reading it as if someone else was reading it. And now I hate it. All of it. A lot. I've cut some things and put in some other things, and generally made it smoother and more readable. I still hate it. And I haven't even given it to Danielle yet.
I knew people were going to have to read it eventually, or what's the point, right? But until a couple of weeks ago, I had expected to be able to finish it, ignore it for a couple of months and then use my superpowers to turn it from a bundle of semiconnected scenes into a single, coherent piece of work.
I have to say, and I don't think I'm alone in this: when it comes to my own stuff I am the most blackhearted critic ever.
Word Count: 27,468 (+393)
posted by kathy monahan at 4:05 PM
3 Comments:
Hi there Kathy,
I know it's really difficult but try not to listen to that inner critic. I have so many unfinished items because I listened that pernicious whispering.
Of course it's good to be self-critical but sometimes it's too easy to go way over the top.
I know how hard it is but just keep going.
"I have so many unfinished items because I listened that pernicious whispering."
Gawd, I know. Every single one of my other six first novels is buried in the Graveyard of Pernicious Whispering. My inner critic is such a cliché.
Kepp on keeping on . . . that's probably why there are editors. Leave your critic behind for a while and let the muse roam.
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