Stop Writing

So I think I'm going to have to give the novel a break for awhile. You may think, as normal people would, that my previous hiatuses of weeks at a time constituted "breaks," but that would make too much sense. This is a break of the "I am not currently writing a novel" variety.

There are many factors at work here.

1. I'm just damn sick and tired of it. I dread having to work on it and when I'm done I forget about it with gratitude. It's a chore.
   
2. It's taking up too much of my time. If I didn't have to work for a living, I would love to write a novel, but I already have two jobs and I've never been able to get by on less than eight hours of sleep. If I want, and I thiiiiiiink I do, to freelance full time and give up my day job for good, I'm going to have to spend hours every day shilling for new work. The sustained psychic space necessary for me to write fiction has no part in such a lifestyle, at least until I do in fact give up the day job.
   
3. It's a source of anxiety. Whenever I'm not working on it, I feel like I should be, and since I don't want to and don't have time, it makes me feel like a failure. I had a brief acute depression about two weeks ago, followed by my first-ever migraine, that scared me enough to really pay attention to sources of anxiety. The world is full of things I have to do that I don't want to and don't have time, and I can't impose more on myself and not go nuts.

I hope this isn't the end of The Amateurs; I do think it's a good idea and I do think I'm good at it. If I pick it up again in six months and finish it six months after that, it's better than writing it for a year and a half in my life's blood and then dying young. Quitting is depressing, but not as depressing as keeping on with it would be.

I'll try to keep posting here though -- I've got to tell someone about my knitting.

Final Word Count: 19,593

Talk About Oneself

Eek! I’ve been tagged by Wiz Knitter. For heck’s sake, Wiz Knitter, would I have started a blog if I wanted to talk about myself?

Four jobs in your life:
1. Freelance writer/researcher – someday I’ll do it full time.
2. Legal word processor/graphics operator (It’s the Best Day Job in the World! Please don’t fire me!)
3. Library assistant (College)
4. Retail clerk (High school. Isn’t everyone?)

Four movies you could watch over and over:
1. Fantasia, the ideal sedative. Have you ever noticed that at least one character falls asleep in almost every segment?
2. The Commitments.
3. Anything by Monty Python.
4. The Thin Man. Why am I not Myrna Loy?

Four TV shows you love to watch:
1. Mystery!
2. Rick Steves’ Europe.
3. The Daily Show
4. The Muppet Show, and if they would COME OUT WITH ANOTHER VOLUME ALREADY it would be higher up the list.

Four places you have lived:
1. New York, NY
2. Alexandria, VA
3. Lakewood, CA
4. Mechanicsburg, PA (OK, I was really too young to remember that one)

Four places you have been on vacation:
1. Disney World (Mike and I got married there, which is really all you need to know about us)
2. Paris, France (Why yes, we went to Euro Disney while we were there; why do you ask?)
3. Montreal, Canada
4. Ely, Minnesota

Four websites you visit daily:
1. Cute Overload
2. Go Fug Yourself
3. The Daily Kitten
4. Firedoglake

Four of your favorite foods:
1. Dark chocolate
2. Red wine
3. Brie cheese
4. Potatoes in any form (Irish on my father’s side and Polish on my mother’s – you can’t escape potatoes)

Four places you'd rather be right now:
1. Disney World (Anyone perceive a trend? Me neither.)
2. My extremely well-worn easy chair.
3. A cabin in the woods.
4. Bed.

Four favorite types of yarn:
1. South West Trading Company Phoenix Soy Silk
2. Crystal Palace Fizz
3. Debbie Bliss Cashmerino
4. Self-patterning sock yarn. How do they get it to do that?

Four bloggers I'm tagging:
1. Knancy at Sockaholic

...

I don’t actually know any other bloggers who knit and have not yet been tagged. So take it away, Knancy!